Sleeping with Monsters Page 21

  “You want me to go out there?” I clarified carefully.

  “I don’t want you to, but we have little to no herbs for spells and you know where they are inside the shop. I will send others with you, but to survive, we must be prepared to face the demons should they discover how to penetrate the wards. Not to mention, Lucifer himself may try to get inside to get to your sister now that she carries his child.”

  “You think he cares that she’s pregnant with is child? He wanted minions to do his bidding here. Now he no longer needs them. He’s here already, and I doubt he cares much that he will be a father.”

  “We can’t know what he will do, and the fact that he is here means we must be prepared no matter what, no matter the cost.”

  “And yet you still fight against witches turning dark to protect us?” I wondered if her mindset about the dark witches was changing. This was as good of a time as any to test her resolve.

  “I am considering it, but there’s a price for my agreeing to allow such a thing. It’s a price I’m not sure I can live with or make. We will talk more on the subject when you return. Right now we have to get supplies, or nothing will matter once they breach our defenses.”

  “I’ll go,” I answered calmly, somehow managing to hide the fear pulsing through me. Outside was dangerous; demons were filing out of Hell and into our world with every passing moment. The stories of old told of armies of them coming out to slaughter the living, and that’s exactly what was happening.

  “I knew you would, but not alone. Take some of the others who trained with you. There’s safety in numbers. To cut down on time, you should split up into groups once you reach town. It should cut down the time needed there, and if something should happen to one of you, Goddess forbid, we won’t lose you all or all of the supplies. I’ll give you a few more lists of what we need that you can give the groups. The others, while important, can fail; yours, however, cannot. They are needed the most, you understand me?”

  “Understood,” I mumbled as I grabbed the book and pushed away from the table. “We knew it was needed when we started training with Alden, just not that it would be imperative or vital to our continued existence. At least not at the time, anyway. I also knew you wouldn’t approve of it. I’m sorry for not telling you straight away,” I admitted softly, guilt tinging my cheeks.

  “Your mother knew what was happening,” she scoffed with a gentle wave of her hand. “She isn’t as blind as you think she is. In fact, she knew who Alden was but had yet to figure out why he was here. How do you think you got so smart? It’s in the blood,” she smirked with a mischievous twinkle in her eye. “But, much like you, she had little control over what her heart did after she met him.”

  “I don’t love him,” I interrupted icily, holding on to the book tightly. “He erased me, Grandma. The rest of you had your memories changed to alter events. For me, he erased my memories of people, of events, and the past few years of my life. He took what made me, me, and stole it from me. I don’t remember much about Joshua anymore, and that is something that aches deeper than any other wound.”

  “I gave you back certain memories, but some are harder to grasp because you are not ready to. You blame Lucian for his meddling, but I can see his reasoning. You wouldn’t have stopped fighting to save Kendra. You’d have died trying to save her, and for that, I am grateful for what he did. He couldn’t stop what happened to us, nor am I convinced that he could have saved Kendra from what Lucifer did to her. But he did save you. He reset us, and because of that, we lived. Had we run as the rules dictate we do, we’d be clueless of the evil that has entered this world.”

  “How can you say that? He took our memories. He took everything from me! Everything bad that happened, he erased it! Everything that made me into who I am is gone! I feel empty, devoid of emotion, and I’m terrified that I can’t get those memories or feelings back.”

  “They will.” She patted my shoulder. “You’re angry, but not because of what he did, because of how he did it. You’re hurt and you have every right to be, but there are bigger matters to worry about now. Right now, the humans are being slaughtered and they are oblivious to what is happening. There’s no Guild to protect them, or us. Lucian may not be a witch, but he is something strong, and right now, we can use all the help we can get.”

  “We don’t need him,” I grumbled. “We don’t even know whose side he is on in this fight.”

  “He protected you from Lucifer with ancient magic, granddaughter mine,” she insisted fiercely as she gave me a reassuring pat. “Not many know magic as old as what has been used to protect you from that monster. It’s older than any of our tomes date back to, and they go back to our first generation of witches. If he is enemies with Lucifer, then Lucian Blackstone is one we have to have on our side, no matter the cost.”

  “And if the cost is me?” I asked, wondering what her answer would be.

  “Then you will pay it for the sake of the coven. At least until we find something else he wants more.”

  Chapter 20

  We moved to the doors, ignoring the people who watched us with a foreboding look. As if it would be the last time they saw us alive. We had very few weapons, and even less protective gear on. To say we were ill-prepared to face demons would be the understatement of the century. My jacket was black, as well as the jeans I wore. I had borrowed boots from Kat, who had a large uncanny quantity of shit-kickers. Luckily, we wore the same size shoes.

  My pack was tightly secured, and the list of herbs was tucked away in my pocket. The more we waited for the doors to open, the more nervous I got at the idea of facing demons. The marks on my body singed with pain as I moved closer to the door, as if warning me to stay in the safety of the abbey.

  “You ready for this?” Dexter asked as I approached, staring him down with little confidence. He was dressed in black as well as the others, with a larger pack held over his chest that hung empty on his back.

  Would I fail him if we were faced with demons? I’d taken down a demon, but it hadn’t been easy. I couldn’t save them all, not if we faced a horde of demons. One, yes, I stood a fighting chance against, but that wasn’t what waited outside those doors. What if last time had been a fluke, and I couldn’t really stand on my own against them? It was the unknowns that worried me the most. Was Lucifer waiting for me? Did he still want me to use against Lucian, and if he did, if he caught me, would Lucian even care at this point? If he got to me, I feared what he would do. He’d messed Kendra up bad, so bad that she wouldn’t even talk to me. Instead, she hid in the library or in the archived files we had, reading. She was a mere ghost of the vibrant woman she’d once been.

  “None of us are ready for this, but we don’t have a choice,” I uttered as I watched Kendra enter the room, her gaze slowly puzzled over the hunting party and our shabby gear. She blamed me; she’d even admitted it to a few others. He’d done things to her while screaming my name, and yet she’d protected me still. Now… now, she had pushed me away, and I didn’t blame her one bit. She’d screamed at me when I’d asked her about Hell, saying that it should have been me instead, and yeah, I agreed. Guilt ate at me, tore and twisted my insides when her stare went vacant as if she was reliving some event she’d endured.

  I’d let Lucian into my life. I’d slept with him, and it had cost Kendra in the end, which was on me. Our connection had been severed; somehow in her leaving this plane for Hell, it had been cut or she refused to use it. It mattered little now, since she barely spoke more than a few words to me in passing if I was lucky, and those words held no meaning. It was almost as if she didn’t even know me, as if I was nothing more than a stranger.

  “I will open the door and once you are outside, it will be sealed again. Once you return and are inside the runes that surround the abbey, we will open them for you to come back inside. That won’t change unless your plan changes. Understand me; they will lock you out if it is too dangero
us to open them. If that happens, go to our house and activate the wards in the basement,” my mother said, visibly struggling against anxiety as she stared at me. “If you can’t get the supplies we need safely, leave them and come back. They’re not worth your life,” she whispered as she hugged me tightly. “We will find another way to get them, do you understand?”

  “Failure isn’t an option. We will succeed and we will come back safely, I promise,” I replied, pulling away from her. “Talk to Kendra, see if she will open up to you about what happened.”

  “You’ve tried and she refuses to say more on it,” she returned softly, staring into my gaze.

  “She blames me, and she should. You didn’t hurt her as I have—try, Mother. She grows more distant with every day that passes.”

  “It’s only been a week and a half, she needs time to heal,” she retorted. “The things she must have endured…”

  I winced and nodded, unable to answer because I knew what she’d endured. I’d been there, watching her on stage as she’d taken multiple creatures inside her body. They’d beaten her, used her and raped her until she had become compliant. That much I was sure of. I’d taken Lucifer inside of me, thinking he was Lucian while she’d been mere feet away from me, enduring what should have been meant for me. Kendra was gentle; she was soft and unable to endure such things as she had. I was dark, twisted, and would have been able to sustain it.

  The door opened and I slipped through it without another word. It was dark and cold outside the abbey, a sign that winter was closing in on us. No stars sparkled high above us in the onyx sky. Only dark clouds loomed above, obscuring their welcomed light. I stood inside the runes, searching the tree lines for any sign of danger. Shadows played across the darkness and I swallowed the doubt and fear as I stepped over the runes, knowing my mother watched me.

  The others waited, as if Lucifer himself would jump out of the bushes and consume my soul. I spun around, eying them before I withdrew my old athame and started in the direction of the woods. The old trails through the trees were the best route, since we’d be covered by thick brush and no one would expect us to come through them to reach the town. Assuming demons had coherent thoughts beside bloodlust and body jumping, which we were no wiser about.

  “This should be fun,” Dexter said as he stumbled over a fallen tree and righted himself. “They’re insane, sending us out.”

  “They’re not insane,” I grumbled as my foot caught a root and I paused to kick it free. “They’re desperate to survive, and we are trained.”

  “By someone who may or may not be on our side,” Kat scoffed from the other side of me. I turned, looking at her. I understood their fears; I had my own.

  “He trained us to be like those he taught inside the Guild. I’ve seen one of them in action and she’s pretty badass. There are a lot of things we are questioning right now, but fighting and what he taught us to defend ourselves doesn’t belong on that list. He taught us to fight, so use it. You have magic; you were born with magic and it runs through our veins. We can do this, I know we can. I have faith in you, all of you, so stop second-guessing yourselves. They sent us because we are their best hope right now. We’re out here for the coven, to keep us all alive.”

  “We’re scared,” Kat said softly as she wiped at her eyes.

  “We’re all scared, but we are stronger than they are,” I replied loud enough to be heard by those who watched us and listened. “They are not used to our world, and they have no idea what we are capable of. They are unknown to us, but so are we to them. They may know witches, but they don’t know us.”

  I started forward, ignoring the words of agreement that followed my speech of encouragement. It sounded good, but it was as empty as the woods we stood in. It took us over an hour to trek through the thick terrain, over the dead or dying frost-covered grounds as the night took hold of the land and winter’s icy grip tightened its hold over the Pacific Northwest.

  I stood on the edge of the forest, staring down at the town we’d once called home. Houses were burned to the ground while others stood pristine against the violence that had rocked the sleepy little town. I tilted my head, hearing nothing except the waterfalls that roared in the backdrop of the night.

  “Do you hear that?” I asked, waiting for Kat to speak up, ever endless with chatter. She was silent; tears streaked over her cheeks as she looked at the destruction our town had endured.

  “Nothing, there’s nothing,” she whispered, choked up with emotion.

  “No demons, either,” Dexter announced. “It looks abandoned,” he pointed out.

  “Looks that way, but we should assume it’s festering with them. They will look human, so anyone you come across you must assume is now a demon. There’s a Hell Gate in the middle of town… If anyone did survive the first onslaught, I am sure they are gone now. I don’t imagine they hung around to become fodder to the fires of Hell. I’m unsure where it is, but should something look unfamiliar, stay away from it.”

  “You were born to lead,” Kat pointed out as we marched towards the shops on the outskirts of town. “You’re good at it.”

  “Yeah, if you consider the blind leading the blinder into battle something to be born into,” I muttered. Once we were within running distance of the shops, we paused, hugging the buildings. “Okay, get in and get out as fast as you can. Once you’ve finished, head for the woods. We will regroup there.”

  “And if we find a demon?” Dexter asked.

  “Kill it,” I replied carefully. “They’re not alive, neither is the body they have possessed. From what we know, once they enter it, they either feed on the soul until it’s consumed, or they extinguish it. Do not hesitate; hesitating will get you killed.” I pulled up my hood and nodded to them before I slipped from the protection of the building and headed in the direction of our store.

  The town was filled with deafening silence, and the closer I got to the store, the darker it became, as if the shadows were following me into the shop. The door to the store was pulled from the building, and I had to step over what I assumed had once been a human to get inside. It was a sunken husk of meat, as if the demon had eaten it from within until only the shell of the person remained. I stalled, staring at the old woman whose sunken, lifeless gaze stared up at me.

  Mrs. Carson, the baker who had always come over to get coffee from us even though her shop sold it inside.

  I rubbed my eyes and looked around for something to cover her up with, finding nothing. I stepped inside the shop, pulling a tapestry of the moon down and slipping it over her. Life wasn’t fair; it was never those who deserved to die who did. It was those who were kind and goodhearted who God took from us, leaving the nasty fuckers behind.

  The moment I moved inside, I whispered the spell to light the candles, unable to see in the darkened shop. It was empty, with trinkets strung everywhere, as well as potions that were shattered on the floor. The power grid was down, had been down in town since the moment the demons had entered it. As if something about the gates opening had short-circuited the grid.

  I removed my backpack and entered the back of the shop, searching through the plants that looked moments from withering and dying as the last traces of magic pulsed through them, keeping them alive. I pulled buds from plants, placing them into large Ziploc bags before I eyed the smaller room.

  I whispered the spell to light a few more candles and extinguished the one out front, leaving the door open in case anything entered. This room had no exit except the one I’d come in. Unlike the others, this room was secured for the plants to breathe, but also to keep the chill winter winds from killing the tropical ones. Not that it had mattered much without power to keep them alive. Luckily, they were clinging to life with the magic I’d used to grow them. I slipped packets of seeds into the bag, since we couldn’t grow them again without more. I’d plucked roots and other things to be able to use magic to replenish our su
pply when these ones ran out as well.

  Once I’d finished placing them all into the secure bags, I zipped the pack and slung it over my shoulder. I twisted around, listening as a shiver ran down my spine. I could hear crying—a child? I slowly moved into the next room, whispering the spell to light the candles.

  I could see tiny feet sticking out from the counter up front. I shoved down the urge to rush to it. I slipped closer, placing the bag on the floor as I made my way to the child. I had almost made it to her when I was rushed from the side, thrown against the wall with red hot pain that engulfed my head as my ears rang. I reached for the athame but something was thrown at me and I didn’t have time to dodge it. Pain erupted as blood dripped from where the glass had shattered against my head.

  “That’s enough,” a smooth, deep voice growled as I struggled to get back up. A piercing blue gaze locked with mine the moment I regained my balance. A silent scream bubbled deep in my throat as I faced Lucifer, who smirked at me, as if he was tickled he’d found me again. “You surprise me, sweet one. You’re either stupid, or braver than your sister. You don’t strike me as being stupid. How is my little bun in the oven, anyway? Does she miss me?”

  “Go back to Hell,” I growled, wondering what the fuck I could do to prevent him from taking me with him.

  “Now, why would I do that when I just got here? I’m pretty happy here,” he said softly as his gaze skimmed down my body. “You look better naked. This century’s clothing is not flattering at all. I prefer the dresses; so much easier to get to the goods, wouldn’t you agree? In this outfit you almost look normal, and we all know what you hide beneath isn’t normal. I must confess; I’m not sure what it is he sees in you. You look nothing like her at all.”