Becoming his Monster (Playing with Monsters Book 3) Read online

  “Run, Lucian!” I shouted, demanding he listen in case I lost the fight, but he didn’t budge. Instead, he just stared at me. Burning blue flames lit him from within as he took me in, fighting to protect him from whatever the fuck this thing was. “Lucian, go!”

  The creature dug its nails into my arm, and I screeched as pain burned. Black blood leaked down my severed flesh as I continued to stare at Lucian, fuming that he’d place his life in danger, which pissed me off since I shouldn’t fucking care and yet here I was, fighting tooth and nail to protect him!

  I saw red, my nails exploded into serrated claws, and I tore at the creature without thought, without care. I ripped it apart with teeth and nails that were as sharp as the finest blades. Blood exploded from its neck, and my hands ripped into where I’d torn it apart, removing the head from the spine as I flipped over, landing in a bloody heap in front of Lucian. My hands went to my back, digging against the pain that echoed through my body.

  I ripped my flesh from my own body, screaming as earth-shattering pain threatened to consume me. I ripped at my spine, tearing through the suit I wore as my hands found the flesh that rippled and obstructed them. I freed them. I exhaled as something broke free, slicing through the air behind me. Black gossamer wings whipped the air behind me as I stood before Lucian in the ruined leather suit. I whimpered as pain mixed with pleasure and my spine arched to relieve the pressure.

  “Gods,” Lucian whispered as he stared at me, watching as I fumbled with the weight that now forced me to my knees. I rose to my feet, teetering on them as I tilted my head, staring at Lucian with a hunger that raged within me. I struggled to calm the panic that welled inside of me as the wings stretched.

  “I don’t think that is what she is,” Synthia said as she brought her hand up and a short, backless shirt covered my naked breasts. I wanted to thank her, but words were elusive as the pain mingled and lessened as chills rushed down my spine.

  One of the soulless stepped closer to Lucian, and everything inside of me turned cold. Her hand extended, touching his chest, and I moved, thoughtlessly, uncaring that she wasn’t foe as I reached her, ripping her head from her body and then watching emotionlessly as she dropped to the ground, dead. I stared at Lucian who was splattered in her blood and smiled.

  “He’s mine,” I uttered through the heaviness of my tongue.

  I turned to Synthia who put her hands up in a motion of surrender and stepped away from Lucian’s side. “Alpha bitch in the house, everyone back up. He’s yours, we won’t touch him, promise. You earned this one, Lucian. She’s becoming your monster, enjoy it.”

  Black eyes met and held Lucian’s as I slowly stepped closer. I smirked, feeling the need to mark him, to lay claim to him in the most primitive of ways. One step, then another, and the moment those dark, silky depths filled with heat, I turned, walking away from him. Catalina would regrow her head, but she’d been used to make a pretty important point. He was mine. He wanted to act like a caveman and bang his chest as he announced I was his? Well, I could play that game too.

  “Lenny, what the fuck?” Joshua growled, and I turned to give him a pointed look as one delicate brow rose in question.

  “What?” I snapped as my body readjusted to the new burden. My vision swam as the ardor of the battle lessened. He pointed at Catalina, and I frowned. I swallowed a grunt as my eyes moved back to his and I smirked.

  “She’s on our side.”

  “My bad,” I shrugged.

  “No more killing our guys. Same side, same fucking team,” he continued, and I smirked, lifting my blue eyes to his as they danced with laughter.

  “She touched him,” I pouted, or tried to.

  “Oh boy, this should be fun,” Synthia snorted as she clapped a hand against Lucian’s shoulder and my eyes zeroed in on it. “Happily married, he’s all yours.”

  Chapter 10

  I stood in the middle of the conference room, which was a vast antechamber that held runes painted on the walls. It looked as if they’d plucked it from the legends of Faery and dropped it right into our world. Synthia stared at me, her tongue in her cheek as her violet eyes perused what I’d changed into. They changed, turning from electric blue to violet as she continued to stare at me as if she was afraid I’d grow horns next, which honestly scared me too. Ryder stood behind her; his finger traced her bare shoulder blade as she bounced those ever-changing orbs from me to the book in front of her.

  “Have you told them she is here and ready?” she asked, and Layton answered. He was leaned against the door with his blond man-bun firmly in place. His back was against the wall, foot flat as he rested there, staring at me.

  I felt like I was on display, the ever-changing freak within their midst.

  “They’re witches, slower than a hooker strolling down her corner in winter waiting for a John.” His eyes seemed to grow distant as he continued to watch me.

  My own eyes lowered to Synthia again, staring at her as her finger pushed yet another page over as she pored through the pages of the book in front of her. It was a book of mythology, and ancient from the looks of it. Yellow pages creaked as she turned them, the scent musky and yet almost alive.

  “Harpy?” Her head tilted as she stared up at me. “It fits; well, if you take out the fact they thought Harpies had the head of a woman and the body of a bird.”

  “Could be, she’s faster than most creatures and fights like she is possessed by demons.” Ryder’s golden eyes seemed to look through me instead of at me.

  “Teeth that grow, nails sharper than any blade, but the way her eyes turn and that black that seems to burn from within, it’s almost like something is haunting her from within. Plus, she has no soul. Harpies have souls.”

  I stared at Synthia. “Does it even matter what I am?” I asked, seething that they seemed obsessed with discovering what I was. They’d been poring through books for the last few hours as Alden had gone to fetch my mother with Layton. Layton returned, but they hadn’t. The hours on the clock continually ticked by as I stood in the room, uncomfortable with their scrutiny as they tried to figure out what I had become.

  “Of course it does,” she scoffed. “Lena, if you have a weakness, it’s important to know it. If you can be killed, again, you need to know it so that you can protect yourself from it.”

  “Anything else we should know about you? Anything that you feel when your face changes,” Zahruk asked, his sapphire eyes peering at me as he pushed the sizeable ancient tome in front of him away from where he sat. He rose, stepping closer towards me.

  He was hot, as in I’d ride that fucker for days and still want more hot. But he wasn’t Lucian, and I burned for him. I burned to feel his touch, to taste his anger as he fucked me. I wanted him and yet the emotions that he made me feel terrified me. Not that I’d let him fuck me either.

  “I feel hatred, anger, and pain. It’s red-hot, and when it comes, I ache to destroy; to kill things, to maim. I crave it so bad that I taste it.” I examined my nails, dismissing their wide stares as the words tumbled out. Black blood marred the nailbeds; I was filthy and needed to shower, but they’d brought me here instead. They’d had me standing for the last few hours as they examined every change, every minute detail of my new body.

  Ryder had touched me, searching my spine for where the wings had disappeared. It had sent a ripple through me as he took in the angry red flesh where my wings now hid in. I had wings. Real, mother fucking wings. It still blew me away as the others had yet to change or return to us with them. I had something no one else did.

  It also screamed wrong and deadly to me. Being close to these creatures had once terrified me, and yet it didn’t anymore. I felt like their equal now, as if I belonged among them. Whether it was because we were all mutually fucked-up in our differences or something else, it felt right. But that was a problem on its own; it bothered me to feel right
with them.

  “Are they coming or not?” I asked, my irritability rising with every drawn-out moment they watched me. “I need to shower and wash off the battle.”

  “They may be a while,” Synthia frowned as she spoke softly. “I had clean clothing sent to Lucian’s room for you. He agreed to let you shower there. If you prefer a room of your own, it should be ready by this evening. It’s a work in progress getting this place up and running. I’m still shorthanded. If you prefer, I can find someone else’s room for you to use.”

  “His room is fine; he’s out, correct?” I asked, turning to look at Layton who nodded. I nodded thanks before I turned and exited the room. With one last look over my shoulder as they stared back down into the pages of the old books, I left in search of a warm bath and solitude.

  Inside Lucian’s room I snooped, exploring the items he’d left out on the dressers. I lay on his bed, holding the blankets to my nose before mentally slapping myself and peeling myself off of it. I felt his presence in the room, his essence. It made my body react; my mind whirled with what had happened when I’d killed myself. How he’d reacted. It made me think of the child I’d sacrificed to save it, and that hurt me more than I wanted to admit. I didn’t want to feel it, to mourn him.

  Emptiness was soothing; pain consumed and destroyed.

  I stripped naked, tossing the ruined clothing back into the room haphazardly as I eyed the clawfoot tub longingly. I spun around, taking in the huge four-poster bed with black silk wrapped around the banisters, to the thick, soft carpets that my toes dug into. The place was beautiful, opulent, and if every room looked like this one, it was no wonder it took them forever to make one ready. I inched deeper into the bathroom, letting the cool air soothe my flesh as I pulled down a wrapped ball and smirked. I slowly unwrapped it, dropping it into the tub.

  The soothing, exotic scent of honeysuckles and spring filled the bathroom. It smelled inviting, and the water steamed from the tub as I waited for it to fill enough to climb in and soothe my aches. Once inside, I pushed the ball around the smooth tub’s bottom, watching the tiny air bubbles as they percolated up, releasing the sweet scent. Once I’d washed away the black blood and grime of the fighting, I stood, bending at the waist until the tub had fully drained. I reached for another bath bomb of the same fragrance and dropped into the empty tub before sitting and replacing the dirty water with fresh, clean water. Leaning against the tub, I closed my eyes.

  “Lucian,” I uttered as I sensed him in the room with me. I opened my eyes, peering up into his midnight gaze. My teeth skimmed my bottom lip as heat smoldered in his eyes. He didn’t speak; instead, he just continued to stare at me.

  He swallowed hard before he backed up, grabbing the clean clothes that had been placed on the counter before he marched out of the bathroom. I looked around for a towel and noted there wasn’t one. Brilliant. I groaned as I sank beneath the water and remained there until my skin pruned. I finished washing off and then stood from the tub, uncaring as the water cascaded down my body. I stepped out of it, slinking my naked ass into the room.

  My eyes took in the vacant room with a glare and then landed on the dark figure who watched me from the corner. My hair dripped endlessly as I swayed my hips, letting him see the damage I’d done to retain his fucking seal in my flesh. Runes danced over my skin, pulsing with a sacred beat only a few could hear. Candles ignited, and I paused, staring at him as he held up a towel.

  “You stole my clothes,” I accused. “I need them.” My heart, that traitorous organ that had grown back, began to beat wildly against my chest wall as I stared at him.

  “So I did—come and take them back,” he challenged as he stood, as his power rippled in the room, making it feel much smaller than it had without him in it.

  I didn’t back down from his challenge. I wasn’t about to let him flaunt his massive amount of power or control to feed that ego of his. But I also didn’t want him to touch me, because the dam would break and with it the emotions I kept at bay would flow over.

  Standing firm, I watched him slowly walk to where I stood, towering over me. My teeth scraped over my lip as I peered up into the endless depths that seemed to always see through me. His hand released the towel which fell to the floor as they wrapped around my waist, hoisting me closer to his intense heat. I allowed it, tipping my head back further as his mouth lowered to mine.

  Heated breath fanned my mouth, his lips trailing gently over mine as his intoxicating scent assaulted me. The subtle scent of scotch and citrus made my nostrils flare with awareness and memories. It was like coming home as his lips touched against mine, sending fire burning through me. Emotions ebbed and flowed, and I struggled to ignore them, to push them away as he touched me.

  His tongue pushed past my lips, finding mine as I continued to stand still, letting him drive us until his hands released me, gripping my hair as he yanked my head back to devour my mouth as if he was starving and I was the most erotic delicacy he’d ever tasted. A moan ripped from my throat as he continued kissing me until he pulled away and I nibbled on his lip, sucking it between my teeth as he growled. I tasted his blood as he struggled to calm his reaction to it, to me. Those large hands hoisted my body, lifting me as he moved us towards the bed.

  Tears rushed down my face, leaking out memories, and emotions flowed through them. He set me down, leaning over as his thumbs wiped them away.

  “I’m afraid to sleep and awake to find you only a fucking dream,” he admitted, and the thickness in his voice sent more tears flowing as I gazed up into the galaxy that stared from within him. He placed his forehead against mine as he rested his knees on the floor, staring up at me. “I’ve dreamt of this every fucking night since…since you chose to leave me.”

  “I didn’t choose, Lucian. It was the only way to save him from what they planned. Our son was to be the Harbinger of Doom, the one created to house a seal that would destroy this world and countless others. I felt it inside of me, and then him. It was evil, pure evil that wanted to rip this world apart. I was his mother; it was my job to protect him even at the cost of his life. I did it for him.”

  “We could have found a way around it,” he seethed as he stood up, pacing in front of the bed.

  “No, no we couldn’t have. Don’t you think if I thought there was some way to save us all that I wouldn’t have tried? I was going to die no matter what. I had no soul. If they had succeeded and taken back the soul, Kendra would have been eradicated. If I survived and lived to carry our child, his life would have been forfeited by the monster that had attached to his soul. He’d have been hunted to be used against this world. You chose my fate. You and Katarina brought me into your game, and I was nothing more than collateral damage. I chose how I went out and who I took with me. I’m sorry she can’t come back to play with you, ever. But you should have thought about everyone else who you dragged into this game and sacrificed as you played it.”

  “You think I care that she’s gone? You died, Lena. You. Died. I watched you slit your fucking throat, and there wasn’t anything I could do to save you. I need to know how you bound the seal to your body without a soul being in it. If it is ever able to be freed…” He let the threat linger between us.

  “I am scarred with the runes and wards that hold it inside of me. I will never possess a soul for it to use, nor do I want one. I like this me better. Not needing anything works for me. That list includes you, Lucian. Whatever I had for you died when you and your crazy ex-girlfriend decided to place me into your game. Me, I might have been able to accept, but the price I paid to protect you and this world, it was too much. So as long as the runes cover this shell, it cannot escape nor act.”

  “And you can harness its powers,” he replied, turning to stare at me.

  “Clothes? I’d rather be dressed for this conversation,” I muttered as I lifted from the bed to a sitting position, not bothering with p
ropriety as my legs spread and I enjoyed the hitch in his breathing as he lowered his gaze to my naked flesh.

  “You think I’m going to let you go? Never. You’re mine, no matter how fucking lost you think you are, no matter what you have become, Lena. You are mine, and that didn’t change for a moment. You want to play chase? I hope you like running because I will hunt you down and claim you every fucking time you run from me. I crave you, I crave you more than I crave the cage that holds me. You don’t get to walk away from me, ever. In a million worlds, you would be the one I chased.”

  “To the grave?” I chuckled as the tick in his jaw began hammering at the reminder. “I’m not going to be that easy to chase this time, Lucian. I literally died last time. You did try to warn me, though, didn’t you?”

  “You were never an easy catch,” he murmured. “Elusive, hard to control, and reckless, but never easy.” He strolled closer, kneeling between my legs as his heated kiss landed on one inner thigh and then the other. I watched his dark head as he lifted his face to gaze into my eyes. “I like the fucking hunt, so if you plan to run, you better run fast because I promise you this. I will be faster. I will catch you. And when I do catch you, I will never let you go. You’re immortal now; whatever you are, I can sense your lifespan is endless like mine, and that pleases me. Yes, you died, and I’m sure it sucked, but all living things die. I’m not sorry that you’re immortal, nor am I sorry that when I fuck you, I’ll not have to hold back. When you’re finished throwing your little tantrum, I’ll show you what it is like to be fucked so hard you feel me for an eternity because, Lena, you will.”