Becoming his Monster Page 8

  Black eyes met and held Lucian’s as I slowly stepped closer. I smirked, feeling the need to mark him, to lay claim to him in the most primitive of ways. One step, then another, and the moment those dark, silky depths filled with heat, I turned, walking away from him. Catalina would regrow her head, but she’d been used to make a pretty important point. He was mine. He wanted to act like a caveman and bang his chest as he announced I was his? Well, I could play that game too.

  “Lenny, what the fuck?” Joshua growled, and I turned to give him a pointed look as one delicate brow rose in question.

  “What?” I snapped as my body readjusted to the new burden. My vision swam as the ardor of the battle lessened. He pointed at Catalina, and I frowned. I swallowed a grunt as my eyes moved back to his and I smirked.

  “She’s on our side.”

  “My bad,” I shrugged.

  “No more killing our guys. Same side, same fucking team,” he continued, and I smirked, lifting my blue eyes to his as they danced with laughter.

  “She touched him,” I pouted, or tried to.

  “Oh boy, this should be fun,” Synthia snorted as she clapped a hand against Lucian’s shoulder and my eyes zeroed in on it. “Happily married, he’s all yours.”

  Chapter 10

  I stood in the middle of the conference room, which was a vast antechamber that held runes painted on the walls. It looked as if they’d plucked it from the legends of Faery and dropped it right into our world. Synthia stared at me, her tongue in her cheek as her violet eyes perused what I’d changed into. They changed, turning from electric blue to violet as she continued to stare at me as if she was afraid I’d grow horns next, which honestly scared me too. Ryder stood behind her; his finger traced her bare shoulder blade as she bounced those ever-changing orbs from me to the book in front of her.

  “Have you told them she is here and ready?” she asked, and Layton answered. He was leaned against the door with his blond man-bun firmly in place. His back was against the wall, foot flat as he rested there, staring at me.

  I felt like I was on display, the ever-changing freak within their midst.

  “They’re witches, slower than a hooker strolling down her corner in winter waiting for a John.” His eyes seemed to grow distant as he continued to watch me.

  My own eyes lowered to Synthia again, staring at her as her finger pushed yet another page over as she pored through the pages of the book in front of her. It was a book of mythology, and ancient from the looks of it. Yellow pages creaked as she turned them, the scent musky and yet almost alive.

  “Harpy?” Her head tilted as she stared up at me. “It fits; well, if you take out the fact they thought Harpies had the head of a woman and the body of a bird.”

  “Could be, she’s faster than most creatures and fights like she is possessed by demons.” Ryder’s golden eyes seemed to look through me instead of at me.

  “Teeth that grow, nails sharper than any blade, but the way her eyes turn and that black that seems to burn from within, it’s almost like something is haunting her from within. Plus, she has no soul. Harpies have souls.”

  I stared at Synthia. “Does it even matter what I am?” I asked, seething that they seemed obsessed with discovering what I was. They’d been poring through books for the last few hours as Alden had gone to fetch my mother with Layton. Layton returned, but they hadn’t. The hours on the clock continually ticked by as I stood in the room, uncomfortable with their scrutiny as they tried to figure out what I had become.

  “Of course it does,” she scoffed. “Lena, if you have a weakness, it’s important to know it. If you can be killed, again, you need to know it so that you can protect yourself from it.”

  “Anything else we should know about you? Anything that you feel when your face changes,” Zahruk asked, his sapphire eyes peering at me as he pushed the sizeable ancient tome in front of him away from where he sat. He rose, stepping closer towards me.

  He was hot, as in I’d ride that fucker for days and still want more hot. But he wasn’t Lucian, and I burned for him. I burned to feel his touch, to taste his anger as he fucked me. I wanted him and yet the emotions that he made me feel terrified me. Not that I’d let him fuck me either.

  “I feel hatred, anger, and pain. It’s red-hot, and when it comes, I ache to destroy; to kill things, to maim. I crave it so bad that I taste it.” I examined my nails, dismissing their wide stares as the words tumbled out. Black blood marred the nailbeds; I was filthy and needed to shower, but they’d brought me here instead. They’d had me standing for the last few hours as they examined every change, every minute detail of my new body.

  Ryder had touched me, searching my spine for where the wings had disappeared. It had sent a ripple through me as he took in the angry red flesh where my wings now hid in. I had wings. Real, mother fucking wings. It still blew me away as the others had yet to change or return to us with them. I had something no one else did.

  It also screamed wrong and deadly to me. Being close to these creatures had once terrified me, and yet it didn’t anymore. I felt like their equal now, as if I belonged among them. Whether it was because we were all mutually fucked-up in our differences or something else, it felt right. But that was a problem on its own; it bothered me to feel right with them.

  “Are they coming or not?” I asked, my irritability rising with every drawn-out moment they watched me. “I need to shower and wash off the battle.”

  “They may be a while,” Synthia frowned as she spoke softly. “I had clean clothing sent to Lucian’s room for you. He agreed to let you shower there. If you prefer a room of your own, it should be ready by this evening. It’s a work in progress getting this place up and running. I’m still shorthanded. If you prefer, I can find someone else’s room for you to use.”

  “His room is fine; he’s out, correct?” I asked, turning to look at Layton who nodded. I nodded thanks before I turned and exited the room. With one last look over my shoulder as they stared back down into the pages of the old books, I left in search of a warm bath and solitude.

  Inside Lucian’s room I snooped, exploring the items he’d left out on the dressers. I lay on his bed, holding the blankets to my nose before mentally slapping myself and peeling myself off of it. I felt his presence in the room, his essence. It made my body react; my mind whirled with what had happened when I’d killed myself. How he’d reacted. It made me think of the child I’d sacrificed to save it, and that hurt me more than I wanted to admit. I didn’t want to feel it, to mourn him.

  Emptiness was soothing; pain consumed and destroyed.

  I stripped naked, tossing the ruined clothing back into the room haphazardly as I eyed the clawfoot tub longingly. I spun around, taking in the huge four-poster bed with black silk wrapped around the banisters, to the thick, soft carpets that my toes dug into. The place was beautiful, opulent, and if every room looked like this one, it was no wonder it took them forever to make one ready. I inched deeper into the bathroom, letting the cool air soothe my flesh as I pulled down a wrapped ball and smirked. I slowly unwrapped it, dropping it into the tub.

  The soothing, exotic scent of honeysuckles and spring filled the bathroom. It smelled inviting, and the water steamed from the tub as I waited for it to fill enough to climb in and soothe my aches. Once inside, I pushed the ball around the smooth tub’s bottom, watching the tiny air bubbles as they percolated up, releasing the sweet scent. Once I’d washed away the black blood and grime of the fighting, I stood, bending at the waist until the tub had fully drained. I reached for another bath bomb of the same fragrance and dropped into the empty tub before sitting and replacing the dirty water with fresh, clean water. Leaning against the tub, I closed my eyes.

  “Lucian,” I uttered as I sensed him in the room with me. I opened my eyes, peering up into his midnight gaze. My teeth skimmed my bottom lip as heat smoldered in his eyes. He didn’t speak; instead, he just
continued to stare at me.

  He swallowed hard before he backed up, grabbing the clean clothes that had been placed on the counter before he marched out of the bathroom. I looked around for a towel and noted there wasn’t one. Brilliant. I groaned as I sank beneath the water and remained there until my skin pruned. I finished washing off and then stood from the tub, uncaring as the water cascaded down my body. I stepped out of it, slinking my naked ass into the room.

  My eyes took in the vacant room with a glare and then landed on the dark figure who watched me from the corner. My hair dripped endlessly as I swayed my hips, letting him see the damage I’d done to retain his fucking seal in my flesh. Runes danced over my skin, pulsing with a sacred beat only a few could hear. Candles ignited, and I paused, staring at him as he held up a towel.

  “You stole my clothes,” I accused. “I need them.” My heart, that traitorous organ that had grown back, began to beat wildly against my chest wall as I stared at him.

  “So I did—come and take them back,” he challenged as he stood, as his power rippled in the room, making it feel much smaller than it had without him in it.

  I didn’t back down from his challenge. I wasn’t about to let him flaunt his massive amount of power or control to feed that ego of his. But I also didn’t want him to touch me, because the dam would break and with it the emotions I kept at bay would flow over.

  Standing firm, I watched him slowly walk to where I stood, towering over me. My teeth scraped over my lip as I peered up into the endless depths that seemed to always see through me. His hand released the towel which fell to the floor as they wrapped around my waist, hoisting me closer to his intense heat. I allowed it, tipping my head back further as his mouth lowered to mine.

  Heated breath fanned my mouth, his lips trailing gently over mine as his intoxicating scent assaulted me. The subtle scent of scotch and citrus made my nostrils flare with awareness and memories. It was like coming home as his lips touched against mine, sending fire burning through me. Emotions ebbed and flowed, and I struggled to ignore them, to push them away as he touched me.

  His tongue pushed past my lips, finding mine as I continued to stand still, letting him drive us until his hands released me, gripping my hair as he yanked my head back to devour my mouth as if he was starving and I was the most erotic delicacy he’d ever tasted. A moan ripped from my throat as he continued kissing me until he pulled away and I nibbled on his lip, sucking it between my teeth as he growled. I tasted his blood as he struggled to calm his reaction to it, to me. Those large hands hoisted my body, lifting me as he moved us towards the bed.

  Tears rushed down my face, leaking out memories, and emotions flowed through them. He set me down, leaning over as his thumbs wiped them away.

  “I’m afraid to sleep and awake to find you only a fucking dream,” he admitted, and the thickness in his voice sent more tears flowing as I gazed up into the galaxy that stared from within him. He placed his forehead against mine as he rested his knees on the floor, staring up at me. “I’ve dreamt of this every fucking night since…since you chose to leave me.”

  “I didn’t choose, Lucian. It was the only way to save him from what they planned. Our son was to be the Harbinger of Doom, the one created to house a seal that would destroy this world and countless others. I felt it inside of me, and then him. It was evil, pure evil that wanted to rip this world apart. I was his mother; it was my job to protect him even at the cost of his life. I did it for him.”

  “We could have found a way around it,” he seethed as he stood up, pacing in front of the bed.

  “No, no we couldn’t have. Don’t you think if I thought there was some way to save us all that I wouldn’t have tried? I was going to die no matter what. I had no soul. If they had succeeded and taken back the soul, Kendra would have been eradicated. If I survived and lived to carry our child, his life would have been forfeited by the monster that had attached to his soul. He’d have been hunted to be used against this world. You chose my fate. You and Katarina brought me into your game, and I was nothing more than collateral damage. I chose how I went out and who I took with me. I’m sorry she can’t come back to play with you, ever. But you should have thought about everyone else who you dragged into this game and sacrificed as you played it.”

  “You think I care that she’s gone? You died, Lena. You. Died. I watched you slit your fucking throat, and there wasn’t anything I could do to save you. I need to know how you bound the seal to your body without a soul being in it. If it is ever able to be freed…” He let the threat linger between us.

  “I am scarred with the runes and wards that hold it inside of me. I will never possess a soul for it to use, nor do I want one. I like this me better. Not needing anything works for me. That list includes you, Lucian. Whatever I had for you died when you and your crazy ex-girlfriend decided to place me into your game. Me, I might have been able to accept, but the price I paid to protect you and this world, it was too much. So as long as the runes cover this shell, it cannot escape nor act.”

  “And you can harness its powers,” he replied, turning to stare at me.

  “Clothes? I’d rather be dressed for this conversation,” I muttered as I lifted from the bed to a sitting position, not bothering with propriety as my legs spread and I enjoyed the hitch in his breathing as he lowered his gaze to my naked flesh.

  “You think I’m going to let you go? Never. You’re mine, no matter how fucking lost you think you are, no matter what you have become, Lena. You are mine, and that didn’t change for a moment. You want to play chase? I hope you like running because I will hunt you down and claim you every fucking time you run from me. I crave you, I crave you more than I crave the cage that holds me. You don’t get to walk away from me, ever. In a million worlds, you would be the one I chased.”

  “To the grave?” I chuckled as the tick in his jaw began hammering at the reminder. “I’m not going to be that easy to chase this time, Lucian. I literally died last time. You did try to warn me, though, didn’t you?”

  “You were never an easy catch,” he murmured. “Elusive, hard to control, and reckless, but never easy.” He strolled closer, kneeling between my legs as his heated kiss landed on one inner thigh and then the other. I watched his dark head as he lifted his face to gaze into my eyes. “I like the fucking hunt, so if you plan to run, you better run fast because I promise you this. I will be faster. I will catch you. And when I do catch you, I will never let you go. You’re immortal now; whatever you are, I can sense your lifespan is endless like mine, and that pleases me. Yes, you died, and I’m sure it sucked, but all living things die. I’m not sorry that you’re immortal, nor am I sorry that when I fuck you, I’ll not have to hold back. When you’re finished throwing your little tantrum, I’ll show you what it is like to be fucked so hard you feel me for an eternity because, Lena, you will.”

  “Give me my clothes,” I uttered thickly.

  “You have no idea what I am, but you will soon. I can feel you, which means we are connected now. Whatever you are, you’re strong, but I assure you, little girl; I’m still fucking stronger. And there’s a thread connecting you to me, and them to me. Whatever you are, you’re mine still, not because I demand it, which I assure you, I do, but because whoever brought you and the others back made it so. You feel me, Lena. You stand outside this place protecting something inside. Whether it’s the seal connecting you to me, or the fact that someone high up brought you back is to be determined. It doesn’t change us one fucking bit. I held your lifeless corpse in my arms and had to let them take you from me. I will never let anything or anyone take you from me again.”

  “I’m not yours. That weak being who gave you those doe-eyed stares? She’s dead.”

  “Good, because you’re unbreakable now,” he chuckled. “You’re sexier, colder, and pissed the fuck off, just the way I like my women.”

  Chapter 11

  I stewed at h
is words, hating that no matter how much I ignored them, it replayed in my head on repeat. Was he the reason we remained here, stuck to this place unwillingly? I’d assumed it was our family, which it could be, but the others who served Joshua seemed unwilling to leave it either.

  It ruffled my feathers, and as I marched into the huge conference room, it didn’t help that his smug ass was there to greet me. As if he hadn’t just floored me with words or knocked me on my ass with them, only to walk out and leave me with my mouth doing a fish out of water impression. Asshole.

  Taking the seat beside him, I turned, staring at my mother and Kendra, who eyed me warily. I shut down the emotion and turmoil that stewed inside of me and allowed the darkness and its calming effect it had on me to slowly rise. It wasn’t until Joshua joined us that I stiffened. I glared at him, wondering what the hell he was doing here as well.

  My grandmother stared at me, her matching blue eyes trying to see past the shield I’d slipped into place. Lucian being so close had butterflies I’d thought I’d ripped the wings off of soaring inside of me. Joshua sitting on the other side had a hurricane of anger mixed with pain that we had come to this place and time, and now had to explain how we’d gotten to it.

  “Benjamin,” my grandmother whispered thickly, choking on emotions.

  “I am not Benjamin,” he declared gently as he folded his scarred hands in front of him. “I’m Joshua, you buried Benjamin.”

  “Impossible, we did the spell to be sure of who we’d buried,” she argued as power rippled through the room, a warning of her own turbulent emotions flaring.

  “We were exactly the same. The spell used to create us, and the soul we shared, was Katarina’s first attempt to close a twin with a fractured soul in it.”